planting veg

1. soak the seeds with water over
(14 Mar 2012 - noon)










2. put the seeds in the soil
(14 Mar 2012 - night)










3. 2 stronger seeds start to sprout (17 Mar 2012) :)

let it be

be calm be calm be calm be calm be calm be calm be calm be calm be happy be positive be calm be calm be calm be silly be calm calm be calm be patience be calm be calm be calm be calm be good be calm be a fool be calm be calm be a cloud be calm be calm be calm calm be calm be calm be calm be calm be flexible be calm be calm be calm be calm be nice be calm be calm be pretty be calm be calm be light be a good person be calm be creative be calm be calm be calm be with you be calm be calm be cool be calm be calm be calm be calm be calm be calm be jo be strong be tough be different be happy being alone

cat, salmon and soup dumplings

I was going to wash my hands after I went to the bathroom. There was a bucket in the sink,so I turned on the hot water to fill it up. However, I didn't realized there was a little kitten in the bucket. It was drown and was somehow "cooked" by the hot water. Oh! No! I tried to pour out the hot water at once. When I emptied out the water, I couldn't see the kitten, but a moving soup dumpling, something in the soup dumpling was moving. Then, the kitten came out from it, like a baby bird hatching from an egg. But all of sudden, I found that the kitten didn't look like a cat anymore, it became a salmon, a cooked salmon, but alive. The cooked salmon-cat felt on the floor and flipping around. The sound of it's screaming is the last thing that I remember from this dream. Weird dream.

半年後又一條好漢

我們得了B級。

這是我在紐約工作的餐館，經衞生局突擊檢查後所得的衞生級別。雖然不是我們所期望的，但合情合理。我沒有做生意的頭腦，但我相信種甚麼得甚麼的邏輯。不論是客觀條件，還是人為因素，試問一直在做B水平，又怎能在調查員突擊檢查時，一下子做到A的要求呢？

雖然得到B級，但餐館的衞生情況是不差的。要做到A級的水平，我們還是有改進的空間。即使客觀條件有限，人為方面仍是可以調節的。而且衞生局半年後又會再突擊檢查，然後重新評級。那就視乎大家想種的是甚麼種子了。

House Hunting

House hunting is a super tiring activity.

1/12 of rainbow adventure completed

Time passed super quick. I just realized that I have been in New York a month already. Going back to the reality, life became busy. I think I've done a lot within a month, which was good and unpredictable. Lucky me! Hope I could keep the momentum and have more chances to do what I should really do.

11/12 to go.

Hello New York

I have been in New York about a week, but I felt I was here much longer. Being in an unstable situation, I did whatever I could do to make myself grounded. I searched jobs for cash, jobs for dance; I had rehearsals and performance with Adrienne and Katie; I started to work at two restaurants; I got an opportunity for an audition. It was a lot and somehow I felt a little bit overwhelmed. But I'm thankful. Even though not everything that I was doing was what I really interested to do, at least, for some reason, everything I got was what I asked for. May be I was in a "country/dream" mode for so long, I always felt I was retarded when I came back to a city. I thought I needed some time to adjust, to let myself to catch back to the "city/reality" mode.

I miss the timelessness in Roanoke. However, I also excited for my new chapter in New York. Good luck to me!

Draftworks

Draftwork is done, well done. one check!!

There were two shows tonight, which means I had to perform two times. The first show was perfect, zero mistake, except I was super starving, but the outcome was fine. The second show? I fucked it up... howcome?! Missed the cues... pressed the wrong button... so many "surprise" in the show... Why did I just couldn't count the reversed music precisely?

Nevermind, at least I got one perfect show tonight!! And thank god I got my costume delivered right before the show, I think quite a lot people liked it. I was super lucky. So it wasn't too bad.

OK... draftworks is done... one check!! More challenge is coming...

怪夢連連

連續幾晚都在發怪夢，怪得很緊要。

（夢一）家庭成員有陳奕迅﹣話說我在懷疑其中一位家庭成員是同性戀的，而陳奕迅亦同時發現了一些蛛絲馬跡。正當陳奕迅很擔心地在想解決方法之際，我卻覺得沒甚麼大不了，有甚麼需要解決？只要他開心便可以了。這時陳奕迅很肉緊地說：「不可以！要是任他這樣的話，我們的家就會散的！」噢！陳奕迅先生，原來你是我家的一分子啊！


（夢二）劉德華萬歲﹣在一個類似工作的場合，但我不是在工作。劉德華問我和同學仔想吃甚麼。我跟同學仔二口同聲的說：「凍華田。」（說時是充滿喜悅的，就像大舅父帶我和弟弟去金華的日子。）然後劉德華就吩咐他的助手給我們去買。可是助手找不到金華，他去了別的餐廳。凍華田是買回來了，可是味道卻像凍啡走奶走糖，而杯子大得像一個十四寸闊的金魚缸。雖然是這樣，但劉德華仍不停地吩咐助手給我買吃的東西回來。夢醒時有點心有不甘，因為還有很多東西未吃完呢。劉德華，你真是大好人。


（夢三）無題﹣夢中，一位朋友仔突然去世了。但在無意之中發現我仍然可以跟她在msn交談，她還跟我提及剛給大學取録，主修Gender Study，可是現在死了，沒法子讀，太可惜了。然後場景一轉，我在翻閱自己的筆記，其中一頁是關於這位朋友仔的。這時，一位老師走過來，關上我的筆記。她在筆記簿的尾頁𠝹了一顆星星出來。煞後當筆記再給打開時，這筆記竟然變了朋友仔的筆記（很Harry Potter)，每頁都是她的照片。我一方面覺得很神奇，就像變魔術一樣，還著她教我；另一方面，我又覺得很心寒，我覺得老師在施邪術。於是我要求她把我的筆記變回原來的樣子。雖然示範了還原筆記的方法，但我仍覺得有很秘技，老師是沒有告訴我的。

點呀

昨天才覺得自己終於大步檻過，可以勇敢地放下一直不願失去的。誰知一個夢，又給我重溫了劇情最爛的那部分，剛放開的又湧著回來。醒來後仍覺得胸口被重重的壓著。能做的都盡力做了，算是盡了本分。能否走出夢魘，原來也不能由自己來控制。

這樣的惡夢，請不要給我再發，可以嗎？

Little deer, RIP

I have two questions.

1. If there is a poeple who is knocked down by a car, and the knees are broken. What would you do? To save him or to kill him?

2. If there is a deer who is knocked down by a car, and the knees are broken. What would you do? To save it or to kill it?

If people saw a man who was knocked down by a car and got injured, I think people would call 911, wait the cops arrive and send the patient to the hospital. So the answer would probably is "to save him." Right?

However, in this country, if poeple saw a dear which was knocked down by a car and get injured, people would also call 911 and wait for the cops arrive. Instead of save the deer, the cops would help the deer die sooner.

Howcome?

I think it should be respected no matter it is the life from a human or from a deer. However, why the human would be saved and the deer would be shot? Why the human has the right to kill other animals? Are we just choose a easier way for ourselves to survive, so that we can disregard the lives of other animals? May be I am just naive.

Sitting by the window and looking at the deer from the oppoisite side of the traffic from my house. I am sad. Little deer, I hope that we are helping you to get away from the pain sooner. I hope you sleep well. Rest in peace.

Mother! Happy Birthday to you!

Darkness

I sat in a bright bedroom, full of doubts, thoughts, questions and hesitations. I looked out of the window, there were infinity of darkness. The darkness outside the house was calling me, there were some reason I wanted to be in it. I put my cloths on and went out of the house, I hope there were completely dark. I looked around, the sign of the church was still bright, too bright, there weren't dark enough. I wanted to be in the dark at this moment. I felt safe and peaceful of being in the dark.

Speed travel

Time passed super fast. It is already the last day of March. I was like woke up from a big dream. I'm sitting on my bed in the reality and not knowing what I've done in the dream. I felt my life was being fast forwarded for 3 months.

I think the "fast forward" button was pressed in November 2009. I spent a lot of time to finish my research paper, from late-November to mid-January, though it was not that long if I compared with my classmates. It was painful, but I learned a lot from doing it. I know it was not a good paper, the research wasn't deep enough, hope I can get some feedback, so I can keep working on it later.

In January, I spent about 10 days in NYC, the main purpose was for Irene Dowd's workshop and Tommy's retreat. I hoped I could have time to take some hip hop class, however, I spent all my time at "home" to finished the research paper. Anyway, Thanks again for Sharon's parent to let me stay with them again, it was my home stay family in NYC.

I started my Europe trip in 18 January. The first country was Spain, I visited Madrid, Seville and Barcelona. I loved Seville, I liked it is small and has her own character. After Spain, I joined my classmate in Belgium, Brussels was our "home base" in this trip. We went back and forth between Brussels and other countries. Besides Brussels, we went Paris, Nancy, and Vienna. We had workshops with a lot of amazing people in Brussels; we had presented our work in Nancy and Vienna; we did some research and sight seeing in Paris; we visit a lot of exhibits and museums in those cities. We ended our trip with a Group soup party in Brussels.

I left the group and headed to London from Brussels. I was a super nice trip, I took 2 classes at The Place, it was just £4 per class, super cheap class for professionals, why there are no such thing in HK? I didn't visit a lot of places in London, but kind of visited most of the tourist places. Compared to the tourist spots, I was more amazed by the flea market and the vintage clothing stores. It was good enough to chill with Mi Mi and Ronny, we ate, we laughed, we talked and we shopped (this part mainly with Mi Mi... of course). 5 days are short to visit London, if you have friend live there. I went back to NYC in 10 March and flew back to Roanoke the day after.

When I thought it was time to ground myself when I was in Roanoke, another NYC trip was calling me. So, I spent another 10 days in NYC for my thesis's research. Thanks for my generous friends Mandy and Carlos who let me stay with them this time. I had a great time to do my research and hang out with them. Oh! I've also visited MOMA, I saw Marina Abramovis's exhibit. I had a great impact from her work, she really used her body to do "something."

Finally, I'm in Roanoke... again. The time to wake up. A lot of books to read; many research need to do... also, I really need to schedule a time to force myself to rehearse. Okay, let me work as hard as possible in the last few months of my last school day. Good luck to me!

smile

Doctor said smile could help.
Yes, no matter what, smile can help.
I'm smiling with you.
Add oil, mother!
Always love you.

life is

soft vs hard

my best friend's wedding

Flora & Kelvin, congratulations!!!!
I'm so excited for you guy's big day... I wish I could be there!
Sending all my best wishes from far far usa.
Happy life :D

proud of you

know you just got a design award, congratulations!...so proud of you....

i think i should work harder.

體能測驗﹣來回跑

回首貪一眼，回憶急速擴散．．．

記得中學時的體育課，每年也有一兩次我最討厭的體能測驗。其中一項叫來回跑。即是在一個特定的距離，由起點跑往終點再跑回起點，來回的跑數次，測試要用多少時間。

一通電話，一句再見，令我一直活在過去。兩年來，一直沉浸在回憶裡。時間的確可以帶我慢慢抽身，但記性也真好過頭了，只要有一丁點線索，便可以扯我回原點。於是心情又再跌落谷底，每次都要想辦法重整心情，使自己可以再站起來，背著原點一步一步的向前走。

環境改變了，理應心境也隨之改變，我卻覺得自己還跟從前一樣，固執得很。就以創作為例，想做的就是想說的，題才依舊，都是一些想跟你說的話。朋友仔說：「能跳真好。」的確，能跳真好，能跳就不用說。做了這麼多年人，到近年才發現自己是不太習慣用說話來表達，幸好還有點創作天份，「說」不出來的，還有其他方式表達。不過每次要開口跳出來的時候，也同時把自己扯回原點，把回憶像倒帶般來來回回的重播著。即使話說了，舞跳了，幕也謝過了，腦中的錄影帶還是播著．．．播著。跳舞前要warm-up，跳舞後也要cool-down。不過我想我需要cool-down的時間也比一般人長。

剛剛在上星期完成了一次單向的對話，心情仍在cool-donw中。想說及想對你說的實在太多了，但不知道還可以跳多少次，始終來回跑是需要氣力的。

密質質

最近很忙，時間好像過得特別快，要做想做的事情總是沒完沒了，排舞、做功課、玩陶瓷（其實都是功課）、做工．．．時間表都被編得「密質質」的。雖然忙，但忙得奢侈。

每日的做著．．．做著，本來沒有太多的時間去想其他的事情，但最近完成的CAP Project，卻令思想任性的往回走。一步一步的重拾自以為掉淡的回憶。我的軀殼一直努力的向前走，但思想卻留在過去徘徊著。

Happy birthday to me"

98019976... bye bye

It was my 852 mobile phone number, my first mobile phone number. I used it for ten years. However, I decided not to use it anymore, and just cut it.

I guessed you still remember this number, because you used to dial this number everyday. However you didn't do this anymore.

I struggled for a while that should I keep it? Since I think it might be the only connection between you and me. However, I know there will be more and more numbers that you want dial more than that, for what reason to keep it because of you?

98019976... bye bye... I hope I can really say bye bye to you.

Dancing body

Should I set movement to other bodies?

I started to make a dance. It's about the changing relationship of two people when the time passed.

I made some movement and taught it to my dancers. They were smart and picked up the steps really fast. They tried very hard to fulfill what I've told them. However, I still felt something wrong. When I watched them to "dance" my movement. I felt they were clay and I put them in a mould, they were not themselves. I couldn't feel the freedom of dancing in them. I wasn't sure if they were not familiar with the movement yet, or I didn't know how to coach.

On one hand, I wanted them to keep the movement quality that I imagined. On the other hand, I wanted them to be themselves and be free to change my movement. What I want seemed very contradictory.

From today's rehearsal, I started to think, what is dancers' role in a dance work? Is dancers just the tool to help choreographer to reveal the idea? How many freedom is allowed for dancer's own interpretation?

Dream

昨天晚上又夢見你。但夢中的你不是你，你先是一隻蜜蜂樣的飛蟻；然後變了一隻似玩具的真龜，還用你的龜殼打了個空翻；最後是一支黄色筆桿的鉛筆。無論是甚麼狀，我都知道這是你，你都在給我提示。

夢中又有大浪蓋過來。

A better world

龍應台在墨爾本的演講

Jo is sushi-holic

Since I got a bottle rice vinegar, I re-started to make sushi rolls. I haven't made this for a long time, at least 10 years. I was "Japanese fever", I loved everything from Japan, TV programme, magazine, graphic design, celebrities... and of course sushi.

My Japanese fever didn't keep a long time, may be there was less good Japanese TV programme, or just less Japanese celebrities that I liked, but the "love" of sushi didn't diminish and seemed getting serious. Even I couldn't afford to eat in Japanese restaurant in Roanoke, I would make sushi rolls at home.

Tonight, I made sushi roll with fake crab and cucumber for my dinner, so satisfied.

I can drive now

Got it... got it... got it... finally.
After 21 hours of practicing driving, and 2 road test, I got my driving license.
I really wanted to scream at the DMV, when I knew I got it, but everyone was so calm, and I had no friend beside my, so, I just screamed in my heart, so excited, so happy.

Too slow

No luck today...
Too slow was my problem...

My first bread

Katie gave me the recipe of zucchni bread, I wanted to make it for a long time. I was so excited, because I haven't made any bread before. It was a sweet bread, I liked the taste and texture a lot, though I think it tasted like cake more than bread. But if the taste was good, who cares what it is. This was my first trial, it seemed not bad, just a little bit too sweet for me.

One of the awesome mid-autume festival

Even I had no BBQ, no kareoke, no hot pot, no family, no a lot of HK buddies in mid-autumn festival, it was still a good one. I had a lot of good food, moon cake, paper lantern and laughing instead.

p.s. I hope I can have the doll collections.

Time x Hand

- forward and backward
- a waving hand
- a watch
- snap
- clap
- winkle

Clear Moon

I looked up to the sky and I saw the moon.
It was so bright and clear.
This is the end of September, the middle of Autumn.

The space inbetween my legs

I remembered when I was in APA, my teacher Rosalind Newman always reminded me to aware the space between my legs. Apparently, I didn't understand, I just realized that I had to use my inner thigh.

John Jasperes was the guest teacher of last week. He was ex-dancer of Trisha Brown. In his class, we used a lot of time to investigate how to "move". Instead of thinking to move our body parts, we tried to think the relationship between the bones of different body parts. Every move was led by the initiate by different bones. I liked he always reminded us to aware the spaces between bones. I felt more fluidity and spacious in my body when I was thinking the "space". Though, the "space" from John was different from the "space" from Rosalind, but there was an exercise made me understood the "space" from Rosalind. I wan in a pose of big launch, front leg bended and back leg stretched. I had to stretch my front leg and flat back until I could touch the floor. It was hard to hold the balance. When I struggled with the balance, I found that if I "used" the space between my inner thigh, it helped me to use my inner thigh, in order to help me balance.

As I said before, my reaction always retarded. A tip from Roaslind when I was degree 1, and I just understood last week. It's slow, but never too late.

The mushroom

This mushroom has grown in our bathroom, how come?...eew.

Blow-

There is a term called "blow-water" in Cantonese, which means casual dialogue, talking without any objective. I've been thinking a lot about communication, and I felt disable to "talk" with others, especially when I have to use the language that I'm not familiar with, so, I started to seek other form of communication. This video was something silly image that came up in my mind one day. Instead of "blowing water", we used blow-out to talk... haha, still "blowing" something... but may be more meaningful than we use language to talk.

Stepping forward slowly

花了兩年時間去學怎樣「放手」。過程很慢。當以為做到了，卻又發現原來自己在兜圈，行十步退五步．．．雖然慢，但我相信我在向前走。

Better motion of stop motion

I think this version is making more sense, if we really need to make a stop motion video from what we've done in class.
Yes, I love perfect.

Stop motion, but not in motion.

How can you called that stop motion, teacher?

Controlling the pedal

I was learning how to control the pedal for two different things in three days. But they both related to speed.

On wednesday, I re-started learning driving. I needed to use my right foot to control the pedal of the brake and the gas. It was not easy to keep the driving and stop smoothly.

Today, I started to learn wheel throwing ceramic. There were two types of machine. I'm short, so I needed to use the electronic one. It was smaller, the spinning speed of the turn table was also controlled by the pedal.

Timeless

After my first dance class in my life, I told myself: "It was super fun, I love it, I want to do more." Today, I told myself the same thing, after the wheel throwing ceramic class.

Though it was the first time to learn wheel throwing ceramic, the feeling was so familiar. Just like used the sewing machine, I needed to use my right foot and my hands at the same time.

Looked at the turn table spinning, looked at the clay transforming, I lost the sense of time. My mind was so quiet and peaceful. No other thoughts, but moulding the clay.

Time

時間一直走，一路向前，一直走。就算我趕不上，時間也一直走；就算我停下來，時間也繼續走。
時間一直向前走，我卻在某個過去的時空停了下來。被迫與時間一起前進的，只是我的軀殼，並不是我。
我身處現在，卻活在某個過去的時空。身心同時感受著現在與過去，用著現在的時間，同時面對著兩個時空所發生的時情。現在的時間有限，過去的卻越積越多。
時間一直走，永不回頭。我用著現在的時間，於過去的時空活了好一陣子，現在的我與我身處的時空越來越遠。我用著現在的間，從過去的時空大步大步的向著現在的我追趕著。時間一直向前走，我也要向前走。

My dear... it's time to say bye bye

一直都比較後知後覺，但近年才發現時間走得比我快。以56K的速度活在寬頻的世界裡，身心發展越來越不成正比。就像拿著成人身分證的小朋友，用著小朋友的智慧，硬著頭皮去消化大人的問題。每一件事情都發生得很快，到結束了好一陣子才懂得怎樣處理。過程雖然慢，但我需要這樣的時間去沉澱。
事隔兩年，不斷的問著為甚麼．．．為甚麼．．．為甚麼？用了兩年的時間想著．．．想著．．．想著。答案倒沒想出來，但明白了。不是我的，我不要。是時候說再見了。

object carries memories, i carried them with me, from hk to america, every single little thing is too heavy, i think, it's time to move on, it's time to say... bye bye.

Swimming in the waterfall

Happy Friday. Glad to do something in the nature.

I did it, though I really hated to swim in freezing cold water.

I was a great experience to overcome the fear.

I had hesitation to put myself in the cold water, however, I felt I would regret if I didn't swim to the waterfall.

The weather was good, just not warm enough for me to get into the swimming hole.

Puhket weather in Roanoke

I love Puhket, a very good place for chilling and relaxing. I went there for vacation before, it was few years ago.

I loved Puhket, because of the sunshine and the beach. There was never cold in fall and winter. However, it rained almost everyday when I went there last time. Though I said rained, but Mr Sun have never been lazy. He was sitting quietly in the sky almost every hour in the day time. On the contrary, Mr Black Cloud was very active, he liked running. It was his exercise time at around 3-4pm everyday. He ran through the sky with his brothers and sisters. They liked teasing Mr Sun by hiding him and crashing each other to make noise. They were so bad, they sometimes took picture whit flash camera when Mr Sun felt embarrass. I didn't like them. They were loud and super sweating, so annoying. Fortunately, they won't stay long, they usually took 15-30 minutes to pass though the sky. Then, Mr Sun would say "Hi" to me again.

Watching the weather in my room in Roanoke this week. I felt Mr Black Cloud came far away from Puhket to tease Mr Sun again.

Kitty, Happy Birtday!!

My first brownie

As a chocoholic, baking brownie was one of the most satisfying cooking experience. First of all, it was super simple - mix all ingredient in a bowl. Then pour it into the baking pan and baked it around 30 minutes. That's it. Moreover, when the brownie mix was being baked, the smell of chocolate was floating in the air. I could smell it everywhere in the kitchen. It was wonderful. However, American desert always too sweet for me.

The Science of Sleep

I watched "The Science of Sleep" last night. It was a lovely movie by Michel Gondry.

I loved his movies, always creative, dreamy and childish. I was so astonished by the way that he made the visual effect, many weird scenes were illusion from the way he filmed it, not CG. He really brought the dreams in the reality.

PS. Love all hand made props with fabric in the movie very much... bird, horse, telephone, type-writter...

Fantasy Generator

04 Aug 2009
*** Kate said create some little thing everyday, that's right, I should create some little thing everyday... after these two week.
*** First time to take a class about poetry, I found that it just like dance choreography, choreography of words.

05 Aug 2009
*** Took a hip pop class by He Jin, so much fun, felt like home, though I've never familiar with it~
*** Took a Cunningham class, super bore, but I learned airy joint, that helped a lot~
*** Pot luck party, so many parties in US, talking and social and dancing~
still super tired everyday~




06 Aug 2009
*** A long day, ballet> rehearsal with HeJin> go home for lunch+showing> Took Dfaye's class- Thinking choreographically> acting class> set up> technical rehearsal

*** The acting class was not as interesting as I expected, but somethings were worth to remember:
- You are holding your breath; you are holding your breast
- Your collar is not the same; your color is not the same
repeating sentance
- The big question mark that Felix drew above his head, so cute.

07 Aug 2009
*** A visual arts class by Michael, it was really inspiring...Do I need to be "pop" as a dance artist? It sounds cool though.

08 Aug 2009
*** Happy to work with HeJin, I liked the importance of discussion in the process of her work. That's right, it is so important to work with someone that the mind is "click" with me.
*** "Dream Factory" again... enjoy doing it!




09 Aug 2009
*** Pool party at Dfaye's house. What a dream house!! If I have a home like this, I won't go out anymore!

Borrow the happniess

已有好幾天沒有跟香港的朋友仔MSN了。

在Durham的家沒有WiFi，只好偷鄰居的，可惜我的電腦不爭氣，全屋只有我的電腦不能上網，唯有趁同學仔外出的時候借用她們的電腦。 就像今天，趁同學仔Kyungha不在的時候，我便用了她的電腦玩了一整個下午。

非常偶然地可以在MSN跟你聊一聊，已經覺得很不可思議。我是從來都沒有想過可以像今天，能夠跟你隔著電腦屏幕聊天。一談更是差不多兩小時，不得了。

花了差不多兩年的沉殿，我們才可以像今天般談天說地。是甚麼將我們之間的tension軟化？ 之前，你總刻意的躲著，是甚麼令你又再出現？是你所經歷的？或是你所說的物理理論？用了很多時間去想應該怎樣面對你，因為我真的不知道該怎樣轉換自己的角色，極有可能不是不知道，而是不想。本來想永遠消失，能躲多久就多久，不再與你聯絡，但每次下了決心，你又會突然出現，就是心軟，我還是抗拒不了。

很久沒有認真的快樂過，是否只你才可以令我這樣開懷。很愛你的熱血，愛看著你向著目標往前衝的樣子；愛聽你的人生大計，似是妙想天開，卻又很認真的樣子。很久沒有聽過你說無聊笑話了，你仍是那樣的無聊，不過我很喜歡，這令我很快樂。

很享受這借來的快樂．．．借來的，始終要還。

New Pattern

ADF在下星期四才開始，我們早來了十天。新環境，新規律。在家裡沒有internet，多了很多時間。也好，這樣可以迫自己專心看書了。

除了看書之外，跑步就是另一娛樂。每天起床後梳洗後，做點熱身，便拿著ipod去跑步。跑步時喜歡用suffle songs的功能，邊跑邊聽著，很多的驚喜。 能夠出一身汗的真好，汗水使我有活著的感覺。在campus跑一圈大概三十分鐘，隨後拉拉筋，再慢步回家吃早餐。

跑步、看書、再看書。餓了便吃，累了便睡，偶然散散步，拍拍照。要好好享受這十天的「優悠」，相信ADF開始之後又會是另一個規律了。

Yeah, ADF!!

I can’t stop to tell myself that I am lucky. Besides I got a huge scholarship to study aboard. And the places that I stayed were very nice.

Institute of Dance Department was the first place that I felt really nice. I still remember when I got there, my first impression was like “Wow, what a nice house!” and the room in the institute was bigger than mine in Hong Kong. After that I went to New York, and I could stay at Sharon’s parent house, I lived in their basement for 6 weeks with a very cheap rent. They were very nice to me, like I was their family member, I was really thankful. Then, I went to Europe with school. We’ve been in Nancy, Paris, Vienna and Brussels. All the hotels and apartments were good and convenient. After that, Kyungha and I stayed behind to go to Rotterdam and Amsterdam. Ivanhoe and Eagle were really generous to let us stayed with them. Ivanhoe shared his room to us. Eagle gave his room to us and he slept in the living room. And today, I moved from Roanoke to Durham for ADF. Lindsay found a houses to sublet. This house was near the East campus of Duke University (where ADF was) and could fit five of us, though Kyungha needed to share a room.

The house that we are staying is like “Wow, wow, wow!!” It is so big and beu-tiful, nice kitchen, nice bathroom, nice living room and nice bedroom, though Kyungha and I need to share a room, it is fine for me. Because I know many people still searching their place in ADF, besides paying the rent, I didn’t have to worry about anything about the housing stuff.

Hey Jo, what can you ask for more?

Lost

今天跟同學仔一起行山的時候跟她們失散了。雖則有點怕她們會擔心，但一個人的時候，又是難得的自在。她們走得比較快，加上偶然我會停下來拍照，所以為了趕上她們的步伐，很多時都要半跑的，沿途的風景都錯過了。雖跟她們失散，但我沒有迷路，我仍然知道終點在哪裡。可以用自己的步伐慢慢走，方能享受過程的一點一滴，雖然慢，但我滿足自在。

Backing

I practiced with Big Blue again. This was the second lesson of driving. Gina taught me how to operate the car going backward. It was usually used for in and out of the parking space. I didn't try the reverse parking yet, but the straight forward parking wasn't as simple as I imagined. I tried few times, but it was difficult to park properly in-between the the guide line. Sometimes I turned too soon, sometimes the angle of entering the parking space was not sharp enough. If the parking lot was full, I've already hit many car. However, It seemed getting better after Gina showed me how to do it.

Phoebe, Happy Birthday!!

Start driving with Big Blue

I got my Learner's Permit on Thursday, and I started to learn driving today.

Gina gave me my first lesson of driving a car. We did it in the campus of Hollins University, because there was no traffic light, and not many people. It was a good place to start with.

We started in the most remote parking lot. Gina explained to me how to start up her Big Blue. By following her instructions, I started driving. I held the brake and turned the key to wake up the car. After that, I switch the car from "Parking mode" to "Driving mode". I released the treadle bit by bit and the car started to move.

I drove in a very low speed, it was around 10 to 15MPH. After I got the sense of the speed and the brake, Gina encouraged me to make turns in the parking lot. It was quite hard to feel the distance between the wheels and the pavement at the beginning, because Big Blue is quite big. However I seemed getting better by practicing. Besides the parking lot, I drove a loop of the campus. There were many tasks that I could try in the loop. Speedup to go up to the hill, speed-down to get down to the hill, drove in curves when I was going up and down in the hill.

The first experience of driving was fun. I couldn't imagine that I could do it. And I was surprised that I felt calm when I was driving, though I was a bit nervous at the same time.
Thanks Gina.

1/4 done

離ADF不到一個月，共有四本書要在這之前完成，每本最少成吋厚，全文字，沒有圖畫。我花了個半月，似懂非懂的完成了最難的Critical Moves，哈哈哈！

不過還有三大本要在三星期內完成．．．繼續努力吧。

Got it~

哈哈哈！筆試僅僅合格，終於取得Learner's Permit，從今天起我可以開始學車了。謝謝Mama Diana的家長接送。

Sigh!

我最終都無法完成自己許下的誠諾。我沒有這份勇氣，我還是抗拒不了。

How are you?

Am I still a matter to you?

Do you remember there?

I remember everything.

Hair cut party

進入五月，所有今年夏天畢業的同學仔開始忙得很，除了忙於寫她們的論文之外，還有在ADF之前要讀完的一堆書，所以這些日子，大家都躲在自己的房裡，各忙各的。

但人總不能不玩的，所以今天晚上，我們就到了Gina家玩剪頭髮。Diana及Lindsay是模特兒，而Jennie、Gina和我負責操刀，Kyungha則全程因為眼部敏感，只好做觀眾。外國人天生鬈髮，加上輪廓分明，以我們的beauty sense，要給她們剪一個好的髮型，一點也不難。

開始之前，我們先了解模特兒的意願，再商量從何入手。Jennie、Gina和我真是一個很好的組合，其實主要剪的是她們，我偶然都會剪一下，不過大部分時時都是給art direction及document整個過程。跟Jennie和Gina一起剪頭髮真是很好玩，每剪一下我們都會互相稱讚對方的技術﹣ that's really nice．．．good job．．．that's a good idea．．．I agree with you﹣ 大家又會因為自己的技術及對美的觸覺而驕傲，很有趣，我相信被我們剪頭髮的人都一定覺得很富娛樂性。

Congee

生病時，想吃白粥；
傷心時，亦只想吃白粥。







今天晚上，我給自己煮了一碗粥。

Mother, happy Mother's Day, love you~

That's living

Waking up with no neck pain.
Having a warm milk in the breakfast.
Reading few pages of the book that I need to read.
Chatting with friends on MSN.
Checking my Facebook account.
Going back to the book.
Watching a Thai movie in my little PowerBook G4.
Making delicious cocktails.
Having barbecue at the back yard.
Talking with friends.
Playing cards.
That's living, how can I ask for more?

Happy to dance with you

My dear Lower Back,

Thank you for forgiving me, I am so happy to dance with you in the studio again! However, it is the last class of this semester today... anyway, I enjoyed to dance with you!!

Cheers,
Jo :D

Where is Jo?

Because of an email, I started to think about what existence is and where I am.

12 November 2008 was my first birthday after I left Hong Kong to America; I received an email from my ex-boyfriend, which was celebrating my birthday. I was happy, because he still remembered my birthday, there is still a “place” for me in his mind, however, after that, I felt strange because we have barely contacted each other since we split, even on our birthdays. I asked myself: “If I am still existing in his mind, why did he only celebrate my birthday after I left Hong Kong? Is now the right time for him to do that because I am in America and we do not exist in the same place?” From that moment, the curiosity of the relationship between “time”, “place” and “existence” started circling in my mind.

To exist does it mean I have to place my body in a physical place? And, how many forms of existence can I take? Once I take a form of existence, how long does it last? How can I notice my existence? How many “places” can I exist at the same time? Physically? Mentally? These questions remind me of two articles in the book Sensorium, which inspired me to make this project happen. One of the articles- Utopia Body by Michel Foucault- fascinated me by his description of how we can experience the existence of our body and soul, especially when he talks about the feeling of being touched by the one you love. We know we exist because sensing gives us the information that we have our body, which means our body exists. Therefore the simplest way for us to notice the self-existence is by touching ourselves or being touched, because we can feel it. However, what is the relationship between my body and “places” out of my body? How do I know where my body exists out of itself?

From Neuroexistentialism by Joseph Dumit I found that we notice our body existing out of itself because we gather the information from our sensing; by watching, listening, smelling, tasting and touching, we know we exist in the world, which means besides sensing our own body, we also need “something” out of our body to stimulate our sensorium to remind us for our existence, no matter if the “place” is physical or imaginative. If I didn’t receive the email from my ex-boyfriend on my birthday, I would never know my existence in his mind, therefore, I discovered that if I want to know whether I am existing in other person’s minds, I need their feedback. After leaving Hong Kong, I have been in 9 cities in 8 months- Roanoke, New York, Philadelphia, Nancy, Paris, Vienna, Belgium, Rotterdam and Amsterdam. During this period I existed in different places. I took photos of myself as documentary to prove where I physically existed, and kept posting these photos on Facebook, so my friends could see my photos from all over the world. I could prove I was existing by visually appearing in front of them through the computer. Their comments on the photos were feedback information that let me know I existed in their sensorium.

In this project, I selected 252 photos from my Facebook album when I was in different places physically. 252 is the number of days from when I left Hong Kong till 4 May 2009, which is now, today. I edited these photos with a short video that I shot one beautiful morning in America in winter. I want to see myself and show my existence in different places in the past 8 months through this piece.



Thanks Jennie for helping my English.

May

The first of May, a new month, a new start. It's time to start a new project.

May I

In the first day of May, one of my fired is wondering if she could go back to 6 years before. I hope she could find the way and let me know how. I would like to experience the days in the past one more time, I wish I was in May 2003.

Smell in Spring

In the last day of April, I smell the greenness of Spring.

Every plant seems waited for a long time, wait the time for them to grow, they can't wait anymore to show how beautiful they are, when the Spring has come. They grow super fast, I don't even know where do they come from. It is a bare grass land today, the flowers will show up in the next day.

Grass is the most subtle but the most desire to grow, I can tell from how often I see the gardener when they are cutting the grass. I like the smell of grass, especially when they are being cut.

In the last day of April, I smell the energy of Spring.

Frustrated by my carelessness

My dear Lower Back,

I'm sorry, I hurt you in the rehearsal today. I hope you are well. I know you are mad on me for my careless, I can feel it, you are not willing to let me move you anymore. I know you need to be stretch and warm up before I make you move. It was all my fault, I promise I will take a good care of you in the future, so, please forgive me. I still have so many thing want to do, I can't make it without you!

Hope can dance with you again in the near future!

Sincerely,
Jo ;P

Fill in the blank

今天跟朋友仔Skype了六個多小時，真是不得了，都不知是我陪她還是她陪我。

我想人都是希望能夠完完整整的，就像填充題，從小到大，不知完成了多少填充練習，學習將自己認為的正確答案填在空格內。空格以外的上文下理我們都知得一清二楚，只是如何尋找正確答案？當中又有多少空格可以有多過一個的正確答案呢？無論懂不懂，也想填些甚麼來把句子完成，就算是碰運氣也好，至少不會錯失得分的機會。

Life brings us lessons, one season at a time.

又看了一套電影，這次是Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter ... and Spring。

一套很禪的電影，很簡單，但使我明白了一點點。

一切順其自然吧。

Old Boy

Old Boy 觀後感

寬恕真是一件不容易的事，但不能原諒一個人也是很花氣力的。有人可以花一生的時間去計畫怎樣報仇，每天的生活就是監視仇人的一舉一動，計算著他應該得到怎樣的下場。仇報了，自己生存的目的沒有了。這樣好嗎？不是很累嗎？又有誰想自己的生命是這樣？

原諒別人等於放過自己，可以的話．．．不要太計較吧！

Steam chicken wing

I missed the taste of this dish for a long time, I finally got the ingredients to make it, though it is not really like the taste of my mom's cooking ... still yummy.

Mother, Happy Birthday!

Sound from my body

當雙手放在胸前，深深呼吸著的時候，彷彿感覺到雙手與心臟之間仍有一絲絲的痛。

Me mi me mi me

I took a voice class with Miguel today, it was unexpected interesting, and I had so much fun in it. I always don’t have confident with my voice, especially singing, but after this class, I felt like I can try. The class started with drawing, we drew what we think our voice like, and which part of the body will block our voice. Everyone’s drawing is interesting, each of us has different thought of our voice… of course, and those approaches to the drawings are so different in terms of drawing, it was an interesting sharing.

After that we tried how to find our voice from breathing to make a sound “ha”. We did it when we were lying down, we took a deep breath, and then we made a sound of “ha” at the end of exhale. From a single “ha” to double “ha” to five “ha”s, we learnt how to use the breath to support our voice when we project it! Then we tried to use our voice with different sound while we were standing. “m”, “n”, “ng”, “m+n”, “m+ng”, “hi-o”… The funniest sound was “mi”, we had to make it from the nose, it sounded like the character in cartoons, it was so difficult to concentrate in this exercise, because we needed to look at Miguel and talk to him with “mi”, he looked so cartoons and he was so serious at the same time, I had a hard time to stop myself laughing when I talked with him, but it was really fun.

We ended the workshop with singing, we went to the piano, and Miguel picked a note from the piano randomly, and made a song for us, the song was beautiful though we were just repeating the same phrase in different pitch… “Don’t you want me babe, don’t you want me woo-oo-o.” … The melody of this song resonated me in the rest of the day.

Such a beautiful sunny weekend.

Chicago in Hollins

晚上回學校看了Chicago，這是學校的production，演員的都是under-grad的同學仔，她們的演出比我想像中好，不過始終是學校show，加上要演這劇，她們的年紀還少，感覺上有欠說服力。看著這musical，不禁令我想起在香港的同學仔，心想換了在台上的是他們的話，應該會更有水準。即使在New York時看Broadway musical，我都認為我在香港的朋友仔絕對不比台上的遜色，他們絕對有能力站在那台上，所欠的就只是一個working visa吧！

60w120v

燈泡壞了，但拆不掉燈罩，試了三天，終於成功，但同時燈泡一併爆開，幸好只是手掌遭殃，沒有大礙。

拿著一個60w120v的破燈泡走了十五分鐘，到最近家的CVS配一個新的，可是那裡沒有我要的。於再走十五分鐘，走到再遠一點的Kroger才有我要的東西，然後又行了半小時回家。來來回回，換一個燈泡，共用了最少個半小時才完成。

Self discipline

從來不愛定時間表，只要是屬於我的自由時間，想做甚麼便做甚麼！星期初還為自己的努力而沾沾自喜，誰知星期尾卻懶得像條蛇，甚麼都不想做。今天更看了一整天的卡通，十多小時的看著．．．看著．．．想著，邊看邊想總不能這樣的浪費時間，應該做點甚麼吧。可是人天生就有這樣的惰性，應該做的不想做，不應該做的越想做，特別在這裡，上課時間雖不多，但放學後用來看書、做research的時間也不少，但很多時就是沒有這種自律，把時間都任性的放在做別的事情上，MSN、Facebook、看電視，更是一開始便沒完沒了。唉！

Why do we dance <1>

為甚麼要跳舞？ 為甚麼是跳舞？那些動作究竟有何意義？久不久我就會有這些疑問。我知道我不是技術型舞者，但我須要創作，我須要與別人溝通，但我不太喜歡用言語來表達自己，而舞蹈是我認為最簡單而直接的媒介，基本上我只需要自己的身體，以動作來表達便可。但．．．我在自打咀巴嗎？明明只要張開口說話便能溝通，幹嗎要大費周章去想動作，然後重覆又重覆的練習，才可將想表遧的展示於人前？

Free my soul

不知何解，今天的心情特別暢快，感覺上很輕鬆，一些困繞了自己很久的事情，突然間無所謂了，雖未至於完全let go，但我知道真是可以告一段落了。

Spring Roanoke

看見花兒開了，便知道春天到了。

Bloody Violent

我想每個人或多或少都有些暴力傾向，今天在Museum看了一個我認為視覺上很暴力installation。展場是一個全白色的大房間，剛進場便看到血淋淋的牆角， 看著一堆堆紅紅的、糊糊的東西，看似油漆又似內臟，很有想像空間。對著牆角的是一根大炮，每二十分鐘，工作人員便會將一枚紅色的蠟放進大炮然後射向牆角， 大炮發射的巨響加上血淋淋的視覺效果，滿足到不得了。

The little room

有時，預期得到的，沒有來；沒有計劃的，卻有意外收獲。 原以為可以在這次旅程中可以演出我那小小的solo，但因為溝通不足，我在Nancy才知道我沒有這機會，雖不甘心，不過也只可忍耐著，亦不想多提。慢慢地，要演出念頭也打消了。
今天是同學仔showing的第一天，開show之前才發現studio的後門是可以通往另一間小房，這房的空間及燈光，正是我的solo所需。於是便在完show後在這裡跳一次，目的不是為了演出，亦不需任何人的同意，純粹想感受這段舞跟這空間在這一刻的關係，因為明年今日，即使地方依舊，這段舞亦不會一樣。意想不到的是，跳完之後我覺得心情特別舒暢，這時候我才發現自己一直壓抑著不能演出的情緒。幸好這小小的房間出現了，我才有機會把這些負能量釋放出來。

Toilet Bowl

歐洲之旅這星期來到維也納，每天在studio朝十晚十的workshop，關於這地方，可以說的並不多，只知道這裡的水很好，可以多喝。另一發現是廁所，我喜歡它們的設計，不在於外觀，而是在於實用方面，在這裡上廁所從不會被反彈的廁所水沾濕，它的去水孔被置於廁盤的前端，所以掉下廁所的東西只會掉在廁壁上，而不是直接掉進水中， 很聰明。

Love Paris

上次到訪巴黎是在二零零二年，在德國shool tour之後和同學仔一起遊巴黎。當時覺得巴黎很髒，又多小偷，風景雖然很美，但印像不是太好。今次再到巴黎卻有了新的感覺，好型。人型、衣著型，不用多說，我最欣賞的是建築物，尤其是有關藝術的公共建設，空間感很強，再配合簡潔的graphics，型到不得了。而且感覺上它們的設計都是以用家的角度出發，置身當中，會令人想多留一會兒。我想，這可能是法國人特別懂得享受生活吧！

Home

在New York遊了個半月，終於三星期前回到Roanoke，不過過兩天又會到歐洲六個星期，能夠四處遊，經歷不同的生活，看不同的世界，真的很刺激，特別喜歡只拿著地圖到陌生的地方「尋寶」，原來世界真的很大，沒有看過、沒有試過、沒有感受過的事太多了，不過能夠生活得這麼精彩的同時，消耗的能量也不少。所以能夠回Roanoke的「家」，算是有個地方歇一歇，讓我可以充了電再出發。

我想，每個人都有想要回家的時候，這個「家」可以是一個地方、一件物件、或者是一個人。只要累了，候隨時都可以回到這個「家」，想做甚麼就做甚麼，想不做甚麼也可以甚麼都不做，讓自己可以完全自由的放鬆，但要回這個「家」對於我來說還有很遠的路呢。

Friday Showing

慶幸今天在Friday showing show了Hollow，因為很到的feedback很有用，起碼是值得一試的suggestion。（I can use the material that I had, then detach the movement from where does it from, and play with it.）過去的三個星期，一直想用在Roanoke的時間來re-make“Hollow”但一直不知可以從何入手，現知道了，很想可以快點試試，看看這些material可以變成甚麼樣。

Nice to see you again

再遇道明寺司真是一發不可收拾。第一次看花樣男子是在暑假時亞視播的卡通，很多年前了，當時對道明寺司沒有太大感覺，但就很喜歡這卡通。數年之後，台灣開拍真人版，雖然個人認為四位男主角不算很「花樣」，又不算很會演戲，但因為這 亦因為台灣真人版，發現了道明寺司的可愛， 記得當時也看了兩遍呢。

最近，韓國推出「韓版花樣男子」，本來就不喜歡韓劇，所以沒有太大興趣去看，不過偶然看見同學仔Kyungha在電腦收看，所以也一起看看吧。不過這一看，真是不得了。除了韓版之外，還找了日版來看，一連看了幾天不同版本的F4也不覺膩。幾乎除了排舞和睡覺之外，所有時間都是在看呢，都算瘋狂。

看著，想著， 韓版的幾位「帥哥」是較合理的「花樣」，看的時候比較有說服力 ；而日本版的「帥哥們」算是有點失望，道明寺司居然是亞卵的樣子，how come？不過看的時候又很有親切感，而且日本人計過度過也不會有錯，他演道明寺司也還演得蠻好的，所以也越看越順眼。

與其說喜歡這故事，不如說喜歡道明寺司言角色吧，不是因為喜歡看帥哥，而是喜歡他的坦白，想要甚麼、愛甚麼，都可以一一表達出來；有想做的事情就一股勁的去做；就算有扭扭擰擰的時候也可以一眼給看穿他在想甚麼，這樣直率的可愛，相信很難在自己身上找到了。

Hollow Re-make

性格使然，想突破自己也不是一件容易的事。以編舞為例，原本打算重編一段在離開香港之前編的小solo，很喜歡，但仍覺得有改良的空間，不過想來想去也不忍心刪改原有的，這也是我每次創作時遇到的難題，就是捨不得，沒有勇氣改變已有的。一方面在想，不嘗試改變，何來創新呢？但另一方面又想，原有的應該是最接近所想的，否則不會編了出來。

Sunset Later

農曆新年將至，意味著春天即將來臨。回到Roanoke，天氣仍然寒冷，不過相對之下，這裡已比在New York時暖一些了。除了溫度之外，另一驚喜發現是，日落的時間比之前晚了一點，之前天全黑的時間是五時左右，現在延至六時左右。哈哈，日長夜短的日子慢慢回來了，好快又可以和陽光玩遊戲哦。

I have to fly back

沒有順風車，仍能想照原定日期回Roanoke，於是被放鴿子之後，以極速搜尋「回家」的資料。結果顯示，火車票價和飛機票價居然差不多，以學生身份在www.studenuniverse.com買機票比買火車票還要平，雖然要轉機，但價錢較平宜，時間又短一半，機場比火車站距離宿舍又近一點，還用選擇嗎？只是這一飛，白白用多了USD$171，這不是少數目呢！

Garden of the Earthly Delight

It was a story about Adam & Eve, men & women, sex and relationship. This piece was not a form of story telling, but not that abstract. I liked the weird atmosphere, it reminded me the movie of “The City of Lost Children”, the feeling of mystery and strange.

I liked the “flying” part very much, and I thought it was the selling point of the piece. The performers were hung up in the air and they had to dance at the same time. When I saw it, I also wanted to try to dance in the air, it looked so fun. Besides, this piece was quite physically demanding, there were a lot of partnering and weight baring stuff, and they could do it very good and smooth. I liked the energy of the performers, they were strong. Also, the other thing I liked the performers, was in the middle part of the piece, each of them were in different character, and needed to dance with the character and I thought most of them were do it well.

Flat Tire

不幸的事總是接二連三的發生，先是回程被放鴿子事件，然後是爆輪胎。

話說我、Gina、Diana、Lindsay和Kyungha一行五人，在New Haven的Yale完成了Tommy’s Re-treat之後，由Gina駕駛她的Big Blue，載我們回New York。Big Blue開始行駛不到五分鐘，坐在司機旁的Lindsay感覺到她那的輪胎有點異樣，於是Gina便將駛往附近的油站停下來看過究竟。一看之下，前面右邊的輪胎穿了一個大洞。當時是星期六晚，要求救也不是容易，而我們只有一個小小的後備輪胎，要換這個嗎？能找到另一毎正常輪胎嗎？能靠它回New York嗎？於是Diana開始用她的iphone上網找救兵，而Gina打了幾個電話之後，決定自己上這個後備輪胎。當時應該只有零度以下，除了看著她及貢獻了我的手套之外（Kitty，你的手套報銷了，sorry，回來時會買新的給妳。），我們也幫不上甚麼大忙，於是我們只好輪流到油站的便利店取暖。

不知過了多久，Gina成功了，於是我們一行五人又返回Big Blue，以慢速回New York。原本兩個多小時的車程，現在起碼用多了一小時，幸好無驚無險的平安回到New York。

不過故事還未完，我在Brooklyn和Gina道別之後，我還要轉乘Subway和巴士才可回家。先是Subway調道，我要比往常坐多十幾個站，回到18 Avenue的時候已差不多凌晨一時了，在這溫度這時間等巴士，是可以變雪條的，於是又步行了二十分鐘回家。早上凌晨五時半出發，第二天的凌晨一時多才回到家，加上接二連三的突發事件，真是累透的一天啊！

Please don’t say “YES” too soon

NY之旅接近尾聲，最後一件大事應該是今天的Tommy’s Re-treat，而這後亦應該回程了本想在18號回程，可是順風車的司機說她想在NY多留一兩天，所以根據她的意願，我就定了19或者20號作為回程的日子，而這是到NY之前已經跟她再三約好的，亦因此我安排我在NY的行程至18號。

今天，應該是回程之前最後一次見到她，所以再一次向她確認回程的日期及會合的地點，誰知她跟我說她會在18號回去。What？18號？為甚麼然提早？而且我不問她，她也不打算跟我說，還說甚麼怕累，車程要分兩天，所以要提早回去，但是妳也不是第一次駕車往來Roanoke和NY吧？妳不是應該早就知道這狀況嗎？為甚麼突然才發現這問題？而且我買了18號的門票看演出啊！怎能突然提早回去？你18號回去了，我怎麼辦？我知道妳是沒有義務送我回Roanoke，但要是這麼不負責任的話就不要拍心口“SAY YES”，還說我可以坐火車回去，很容易的，到時再派人到火車站接我。甚麼？你還可信麼？而且車費從何來？這是大失預算啊！不過這也未算最嬲，最嬲的是之後還向我推介NY有多好，現在我可以不用急著回去。Come on！返屋企收皮啦！在NY不用吃、不用住嗎？妳給我付賬嗎？

Wicked

這次真的是又跳又唱又做的musical了，不過我想今晚的演出應該跟平常的不一樣，先是一出生便是全身綠色皮膚的主角Elphaba，今晚是由standby擔演，雖然都很好，但正選始終是正選嘛，總覺得還欠了些甚麼似的。另外今晚technical problem特別多，有些演員很懂得「執生」，但有些卻在「焗蟹」，雖然有欠professional，但我卻覺得很好笑。劇中的演員，我比較喜歡飾演Glinda的Alli Mauzey，她的角色是我最不喜歡的Barbie類，但她的演繹卻有點「癲癲哋」，平衡了Glinda那「千金小姐」的乞人憎。

Lottery Ticket of Wicked

第一次到Wicked，不知道lottery ticket的抽籤時間，白去了一趟；第二次及時趕到，但沒被抽中；今天再戰MOMA之後，順便再到附近的Wicked碰碰運氣。

不知為甚麼，今晚一同抽籤的人明顯比上次少，心想機會率應該大一點，所以在抽奬咭上寫上自己的名字後便乖乖的在等結果。大約十五分鐘後，負責抽籤的工作人員拿著十多張寫上不同名字的咭從大堂走出來， 他一個一個的宣報誰是幸運兒，我一個一個的留心職著，身邊一個一個的尖叫著，聽著．．．聽著．．．然後我的心震了下，接著“Ya“了一聲，哈哈，今次給抽中了。這次New York之旅應該不狂此行吧。

MOMA re-visit

Christmas的時候Abby送了MOMA+PS1的入場券給我作禮物，真窩心，上星期四去了PS1，今天則再戰MOMA。

PS1有四層，但每層面積不是很大，所以三、兩小時便可以完成，剛剛好，沒有滯的感覺。這兒的展品比較contemp，有Painting、Photography、Video和Installation，當中我比較喜歡可以interact的installation，而印像比較深刻的是Leandro Erlich的Swimming Pool，一個看上去可以讓人在水裡行走的游泳池，游泳建於兩層之間，從上層看進水裡可以看見遊人在池底行走；從下層往上望，就會看見在池邊觀看的人，很有趣。而Olafur Eliasson的Take Your Time亦是喜愛的作品之一，遊人一個個躺在地上，凝望著天花，看的是自己在大圓鏡上的倒映，掛在天花的大圓鏡緩緩的旋轉著，給予觀賞者從另一角度看自己及身虛的環境。另一個比Take Your Time更要take time的，是一個在三樓的房間，這房間是一個倒轉梯形，只有四排靠牆的長櫈，遊人就是半躺著的靠著牆坐著，走進去時，一陣冷空氣吹來，抬頭一看，天花給挖空了一個大正方，打通了室內外的空間。我也找了一個位置坐下，靠著牆看著這個在天花的洞，這大正方就像一個大畫框，框著天空上的雲，這幅畫的內容隨著雲的動向而慢慢改變，看著藍天白雲，心情也特別舒暢。離開的時候還在發白日夢，假如將來的家有這樣的天窗多好，白天看雲，晚上看星，最好可以對著海．．．只是，在香港怎會有這樣的樓，就算有，應該天文數字吧。

除了坐陣的名畫之外，MOMA久不久就會有不同artist的Exhibition，今次再到MOMA有新發現，Marlene Dumas的作品深深吸引了我。Marlene Dumas的以畫人為主，主題都圍繞著種族、女性、色情等，她的作品都帶著死亡的氣氛，但同時畫中的筆跡及用色給了我很自由的感覺，可惜不能拍照，只好save在腦袋吧。

Fake happy

不再屬於我的快樂，我不要，請不要讓我假快樂。

Where's my last ten seconds in 2008

背心、樽領Tee、天蠶衣、樽領冷衫、兩件huddies、羽絨、tight、登芯絨褲、兩對襪、水鞋、頸巾和冷帽，我身上就是穿了這麼多東西來迎接2009，這應該是我人生經歷中穿得最多的一次，亦是最寒冷的一天。

由於不知道我還會不會有機會再在New York過除夕，所以特別約了同學仔Kyungha到Time Square count down。晚上八時多我們已經在韓國餐館吃飽飽，再到Kyungha的住處放下隨身物品，準備我們的午夜倒數。

大約九時，我們便到了Time Square旁邊，在42nd street及6th Avenue的街角，雖然不是正對著count down tower的Broadway，但同樣看得見倒數波波及大螢幕，於是我們便決定在這街角等倒數。

三小時，如果是用作shopping，應該很快便過了，但在零度以下的室外站著呆等三小時，真是非一般的經歷。結果三十分鐘之後，我們的腳趾已經開始失去知覺，於是轉到附近的Wachovia暖一暖身。溫暖的一小時悄悄地過了，是時候回到街角視察一下人流，人堆是比之前多了一點，但仍有去找一找洗手間的空間，於是再回到街角時，距離午夜還有一小時多一點。天氣仍然很冷，我和Kyungha已經不懂說話了，只有身旁的人偶然報時的時候，我們才歡呼一下，四十五分鐘、半小時、二十分鐘、十分鐘、五分鐘．．.最後一分鐘，等了三小時，終於等到最後一分鐘了，我緊的看大螢幕，準備著最後十秒的倒數，可是等呀等，大螢幕仍是播著廣告，突然間倒數波波旁邊放起煙花來，而且越放越大，然後飄來滿天紙碎，噢！新一年來了，可是我等了一晚的十個數字還沒有數啊！

Spring Awakening

晨早八時便到劇院外輪候Spring Awakening的Student rush ticket，吃了兩小時的西北風，終於給我買到了我人生第一齣在NY看的Broadway Musical。

看Broadway Musical也真誇張，節目在晚上七時開始，六時半觀眾已魚貫入場，還要大排長龍呢。我的是student rush ticket，所以是partial view，而我的坐位更是飛機位的最側，不過反而很近舞台，可以很清楚看到演員的一舉一動。

這是一套很young的musical，用了很多很fresh的演員，雖然大部分都很好，但感覺上仍是有點不夠成熟，不過我認為這種freshness正是這劇需要的energy。故事一般，但編排卻頗有心思，我愛此劇的transiton, 靈活地運用了台上的觀眾席、我愛演員唱歌時要拿咪、我愛ensembles被安排在舞難台上的觀眾席、我最愛是它的音樂，感覺像去了band show，用了很多Rock music，是意料之外。另外雖然編舞是Bill T Jones，但跳的部分卻不是很多，而且這批演員們亦不是很會跳的，所以可免則免吧！

哈，聽了一輸林憶蓮王若琳謝安琪方大同張敬軒之後，發現原來自己都是rock底的。

So careless

正所謂「小心駛得萬年船」，但我卻不小心「撞船」了，幸好沒有傷亡。

說的不是真的撞船，而是提款後幾小時才發現自己忘了取回提款咭，都夠災難吧！

打開錢包發現放提款咭的位置不知為甚麼空著時，先是心臟結冰，然後整個人都青了，再全身冒汗。找了一遍、兩遍、三遍都沒有，所有身家都在這咭，當然第一間報失，不過我沒有報失的電話號碼，只好走回幾個街頭之前經過的分行，看看有沒有線索。號碼找到了，但我手提電話的pre-paid card差不多用完，一定不夠報失之用，幸好師弟仔Tim在旁，有他的手提電話我才可以順利報失，而我的提款咭亦沒有被盗用的記錄，真是不幸中之大幸。

Cape No.7

無意中給我看到「海角七號」，蠻喜歡！

喜歡遠離地市的生活。

喜歡因為生活簡單，所有事情都變得重要。

喜歡卧虎藏龍。

喜歡茂伯的熱血。

喜歡band sound。

不喜歡的．．．不用記著吧。

Happy Christmas in USA

第一年在美國過聖誕，是一個溶了一半的白色聖誕，沒有香港的朋友仔作伴，但仍然有一大班香港人和我一起過節。

先在Abby和James的家過了一個愉快的Christmas eve afternoon，除了重遇／認識了一些APA的師兄弟妹外，還有Roz及一些Abby在NY的朋友仔。當然還有很多美食，Joan的drumstick、Mandy的cookies、salad、Beard Papa（估不到NY有Beard Papa）、sandwich．．．很多很多！

聖誕當日就跟home stay family到了Staten Island，跟他們的親戚一起慶祝。八個小孩、不知有多少對爸爸媽媽、公公婆婆及爺爺嫲嫲，總之整間屋都是人，十分「熱鬧」。主人家在家裡佈置了一棵差不多頂著天花的聖誕樹，樹旁堆滿送給小孩子的禮物，第一次看見聖誕樹旁的「真」禮物有這麼多，疊起來有兩棵聖誕樹那麼高，真誇張！人雖然多，不過幾乎沒有跟誰聊過，因為各忙各的，女士們忙著準備火煱、餵奶；男士們忙著為自己的小朋友拍照、看DVD；公公婆婆爺爺嫲嫲就打麻雀，而我就將自己歸類為男士們，因為我整晚的主打節目就只是看DVD和吃火煱！

一個孤兒仔在美國，有這麼多人和我一起，不用過lonely Christmas，還有投訴麼？！

Hey my dear, Merry Christmas!

Never end task

I believe I can do it. Come on, I'm ready.

Exchange gift

最憎聖誕party要「交換禮物」，因為這份禮物很難買，不知道收的人會是誰，要全世界都合用，又要看budget，又不想隨便買，正所謂「己所不欲，勿施於人」，我不想對方在聖誕收到「垃圾禮物」。話雖如此，我認為好的，抽中的人又未必喜歡，那麼，為何不可用這錢買自己想要的！

A conversation with an eight years old girl

An eight years old girl talked to me this afternoon,

"You should get marry and have a baby, because you are thirty-two now!" she said,

"It is not a must." I said,

"Yes, you should, and when you are one hundred and fifty years old, you should be a grandma." she said.

......well, why? who set the rule?

Do Winter

意想不到，今年在美國竟然可以「做冬」。前兩天home stay mother已經告我今天「做冬」會一起出外出用膳。

中午的時候，他們弄了咸湯圓，這是我第一次吃咸湯圓，一個個圓圓的粉檲配以紹菜蝦米冬菇絲湯底，很美味。

晚上我們到去了Queens做冬，還以為會到中式酒樓吃唐餐，誰知我們到了韓國餐館吃韓國餐，桌上沒有拜神雞、炆冬菇等做節菜式，換上的是鋪滿飯桌的泡菜、烤肉、魚生飯、炒粉絲、羊肉湯等。愛吃的我，滿足到不得了。

除了home stay family之外，當然還有我的TI同學仔Sharon及她一家，終於可以見見她那兩個可愛的小美人。不過我忙於認真地品評面前的韓國美食，而忘了和她們一起拍照，希望還有機會吧。

Love from first sight

一見鍾情，的確是有「即時擁有」的衝動，因為「他」擁有的外在條件，大概就是極乎合自己喜愛的類型，一但看上，便心思思的想試著了解，成事與否，真的要溝通過、感受過才知。

星期四晚，在沒有任何防備之下，一晚之內竟被兩個「他」吸引著，一個隔著玻璃，靜靜的向我微笑；另一個，我只能匆匆的看一眼便要離開。回家後仍對他們念念不忘，心思思的想跟他們溝通一下，於是今天我終於鼓起勇氣找他們試試看。

美麗的故事開始了，他們和我想像的很吻合，沒有十足都有八成，算是一拍即合，而且一個七折，一個六折，沒有理由不帶他們回家。

上星期還自命清高的認為shopping已經不再是我杯茶，物慾對我已起不了作用，誰知購物蟲已經在偷偷地咬我了。沒有物慾，只是因為我愛的還未出現。

Slurpee

在Roanoke第一次看到飄雪，雪花很細，未到地上已經溶了一半。這次到New York第一次看到下雪，雪花大大小小，有時甚至是一塊塊的，情景比飄雪更美麗、更震撼。雪連綿不絕的下落，才一會兒，街道上的東西都被厚厚的鋪上一層白色，就像在卡通片看到的一模一樣，很超現實。不過美麗的背後都有代價的，今天雪很大，地上的積雪最少有一至兩吋厚，知道雪可以是很滑的，所以第一次在雪地上行走，格外小心。

剛剛積在地上的雪最好行，不滑，而且沒有人走過，可以很清晰的留下自己腳印，很好玩。最難行的算是溶了一半的雪，就像整條街都鋪滿半溶的思樂冰，很滑，走在上面的時候一定要小心翼翼，只可以用bound flow，不能快。另外，過馬路也頗考功夫，先是馬路上的雪，很髒，都是灰色的，加上被車輪輾過後，變成大堆小堆的積在馬路邊，根本分不清那些雪堆是虛是實，有時踏了進去才知是雪氹，半隻鞋被埋在思樂冰中，又凍又濕，很難受。

雖然雪景很美，但真的不喜歡冬天，灰灰沉沉，沒精打采的。夏天快些回來吧。

Treatment for my ankle

之前的腳傷未癒，所以醫腳變成來NY的重頭節目。雖然我覺得如果沒有骨折或關節移位的話，受傷的部分是會慢慢好的。但，今次就是不能慢，我還有很多課要上、很多idea想work，而且一月還有演出呢！所以現在唯有放棄上課來讓痛腳休息多一點。

上星期經朋友仔介紹到China Town看了一對大夫，沒錯是一對的，他們會輪著替同一個病人「治療」，不過經過兩次治療之後不但沒有好轉，還好像差了一點，而且不太喜歡他們的療法，有點像跌打，只是「捽」及「放血」，不喜歡「放血」，比針灸可怕，於是決定轉大夫。雖然我不知道是否他們的治療方法不適合，還是我根本不可能快一點痊癒，不過我想多給自己一次機會，要是沒有進展的話就唯有讓「痛腳」慢慢好吧！

今天轉了另一個大夫，叫Dr Anna，都在China Town，都是Chinese。我想今次找對了大夫，她是針灸師，經過一次治療之後，感覺明顯好轉，希望再多一兩次治療後就算不能痊癒，起碼可以上課吧！

A platform for dance

在New Yoek，逢星期一晚上都可以到Judson Memorial Church看Movement Research，費用全免。單看title已知，Movement Research是一個給編舞發表其舞蹈研究的平台，演出的都是一些實驗性的作品，起碼從編者的角度是值得實驗的。因此，入場看到的並沒有保證，可以是驚，可以是喜，可以是平平無奇，也可以是沒頭沒尾。話雖如此，編舞們卻是盡心盡力的發表他們的作品，他們忠於自己去創作，不論結果如何，肯嘗試，就是他們對「創作」的誠意，這也是他們作為編舞成長的一部分。而入場看的觀眾，大都是抱著支持及一同實驗的心態，而不是批評作品的好與壞。有這種包容的氣氛及態度，不單能鼓勵更多的「有心人」樂於嘗試及創作，整個舞蹈圈的氣氛亦來得正面。我相信如果編得不夠好就要被「鬧爆」的話，哪有人會嘗試？當然，意見及討論也是重要的，但意見怎樣發表才是對編者有幫助呢？我想這也是值得思考的。

Lonely planet

很幸運，今次到NY很多時候都有人陪我到處逛，有時是同學仔，有時是home stay family，他們都比我對NY熟悉，帶我去了很多本地人才知道的地方，以免我「盲摸摸」。突然發現，我比較喜歡一個人拿著相機、拿著地圖四圍去，喜歡計畫自己想去的地方，喜歡由自己發現的新事物，喜歡一個人的自由自在，看到喜歡的事物想留多久就留多久，想怎樣影就怎樣影，不用擔心用行的人的感受。

雖然這樣說，卻不是不喜歡跟朋友在一起，只是與朋友一起去旅行，和朋友帶我去這去那是兩回事。驚喜的發現，原來旅行是可以一個人的，雖然有時是有點悶，不過卻很自在。

Wake up

不要了。

Life (In Progress)

碰巧Abby也在NY，便相約我看Life (In Progress)的dress rehearsal，順便吃個晚飯。

看的節目是Bill Young/Colleen Thomas & Co.的作品，Colleen是我讀APA時的guest teacher，不過印像比較深刻的，卻是和她一起來的Alexander，第一次看到肥人跳舞，原來也可以很好看，從此對身體有了另一種看法。

Life (In Progress)有點像動作加強版的「Huh？！Mearwa！」。舞蹈為主，加上劇場，再加錄像，一樣是home setting，一樣是relationship，不過人更多，不同的關係更多。看了這演出，明白了一點一些朋友仔對「Huh？！Mearwa！」的意見。最近常想，到底舞蹈創作可以怎麼樣，要有多少舞步、要有多少動作才算是一個舞蹈演出？而甚麼動作才算是舞蹈呢？既然選了舞蹈作為表達的媒介，為何又要加入說話、加入錄像呢？難道只有舞蹈就不夠麼？

雖然時常說創作時舞蹈技巧不是最要，甚麼內容，怎樣演繹才是我想focus的，不過當看到一些技巧成熟的身體在舞動時，又覺得很賞心悅目，重新發現了舞蹈動人之處，的確，這也是演繹的重要一環。我想，在這裡說的技巧已不在於腳夠不夠尖，或者能轉多少個圈，我說的是演員對自己身體的認識與運用，知道自己能做甚麼、應做甚麼及如何做，相信這些都是經驗吧。

Lost the interest in shopping

今天很凍、很大風、雨下個不停，不過既然遠道而來，還是出外走走比較好。

原本想到自由神像看看，不過天氣這麼差，還要坐船，都是算吧。

同學仔Kyungha提議到SOHO逛逛，也好，反正未去過，我又沒有其他主意。從來都沒有想過SOHO是怎樣的，好像有些gallery吧，誰知全都是名店，好明顯不是我杯茶。不過同學仔和她的同鄉朋友仔就非常投入，先去D&G，然後A|X，再到Disel、theory．．．她們不是逛逛而已，是真的shopping，雖然是大減價，不過就算半價之後我都覺得很貴，而且漸漸覺得錢是不應這樣花的，夠穿就可以了，加上大部分時間都在Roanoke，鄉下地方，穿甚麼也沒所謂吧。

真不敢想像我就這樣陪著她們在SOHO過了一個很凍，又橫風橫雨的shopping afternoon。

Home stay family in NY

我、Gina、Kyungha和Clare一行四人晨早八時出發，三時多已經到New York，先到Gina家，再等Sharon過來接我。自從TI畢業之後，十二年沒有見過Sharon，我們是在我離開香港前在Facebook重遇的。多年沒有聯絡的同學仔，已經是兩小孩的媽媽了，知道我要在New York找地方住，便替我找了一個home stay，她父母的家。

一個三代同堂的家，有爺爺嫲嫲、有爸爸媽媽和兩個小孩。本來晚上在Judson Church有免費performance，不過home stay family當晚準備了打邊爐，還可以邊吃邊看TVB，試問我這個打邊爐精怎可扺擋這個誘惑，而且舟車勞頓了一整天，還是停下來竭一竭吧。

香港人家庭，加上溫暖打邊爐，我想這次New York trip也可當作回港渡假吧。

My little video project

自從上次死因不明的showing之後，一直都不知該從何再開始。有些東西在腦中盤旋了一段日子，亦搜集了一些資料，gesture、body language、emotion等一大堆東西，就是不知該怎様做才有趣。直至上月的cord conference，看了Harmony Brench的presentation，從中得到啟發，定下了一個小小的video project。

以「托下巴」這gesture作為基礎去develop一些movement，再拍一段極短的video。

過程是這樣的，一直在很有興趣用gesture、body language、emotion等日常生活中經常發生的東西（主要是動作）去編舞，由於腳傷還未全愈，就只好用上半身吧，於是用「托下巴」這gesture develop了好幾個phrase，但就只有動作，而且感覺很奄悶，很長氣，不知應該用甚麼型式去表達「托下巴」的神髓。「托下巴」這麼一剎那的動作，背後所包含的情緒及意思可以很多，很不同，不留心的話便很容易錯過。所以便用video來capture這短暫的moment。不過edit之後，phrase不見了，剩下的只有moment(s)，反而喜歡，似乎更切合gesture這element。

24 simplified Yang style

九月開始重拾太極，逄星期一、三早上上課，一個學期以來老師教曉了我們楊式太極二十四式簡化版，學期尾還有畢業證書，從來都沒有想過學太極會有證書，不過也很窩心，是我們努力的證明。

Home alone day 8 + 9

Thanksgiving break的最後兩天，雖然仍是以youtube渡日，不過當想到自閉的日子即將完結，心情也好一點。

Home alone day 7

同學仔Kyungha告訴我，Thanksgiving的第二天，各商舖都會大減價的，她打算帶她媽媽到shopping mall逛逛，本來想跟她們一起去的，心想到外面逛逛也好，不過，載她們的朋友想在凌晨四時出發時間，Oh！No kidding，4am？！還在夢中呢！減價也不用這麼博吧，於是我選擇了繼續和周公玩。

今天是Youtube Day，看Youtube的影片看了一整天，還一口氣完成了一連三集的無間道。雖然好像很浪費時間，不過從看無間道的過程中，也有些少得著。從Youtube上找到的無間道是廣東話配上英文字幕的，所以我可以邊聽廣東話，邊看英文字幕來學英文，這樣我便知道平常想說的廣東話怎樣用英文來表達了,當然單靠這樣來學英語是不夠全面的，不過也未嘗不是有趣的方法，以下就是其中一些在無間道學到的：

一句講曬 in a word

的確好啲 much better indeed

吾係幾好意思 it's kind of embarrassing

二五仔 mole

係我疏忽 it's my negligence

同某啲人做嘢吾好太講義氣 chivalry means little to somebody

Home alone day 6

自閉了幾天，開始失去時間觀念。宿舍沒有人，很久沒有說話了。每天睜開眼，就找點事做；餓了，就找吃的；睏了就去睡。原以為自己是孤兒仔，要一個人過Thanksgiving，中午時分，一個電話把我從自閉的密室中拯救出來，原來同學仔Kyungha和她媽媽已經遊完NY，邀請我到她宿舍吃韓式住家飯，當然答應。

睌上六時，準時到達宿舍，晚餐已經準備好了。我想可能是怕言語不通的關係，伯母沒有跟我們一起吃，只是忙於招呼，有點不好意思。韓式的住家飯並不是在香港常見的韓式燒烤，也不是外國遊客必吃的人參燉雞，他們的家常便飯有點像從韓劇看到的，一碗湯、一碗白飯、和無數一小碟，一小碟不同種類的醃物，有泡菜、醃黑豆，咸魚仔、紫菜、辣魷魚絲等，我最愛的是泡菜及紫菜。韓國人吃紫菜的方式有點像壽司，用一小片紫菜包著一口飯，隨即送進口裡，飯熱而紫菜仍是脆卜卜的，很有口感，很滿足，有得食又有得玩，我想就算只有紫菜也可以吃一整碗飯。

很久沒有見過“人”了，飯後跟Kyungha聊了一會才回自己的宿舍。真的謝謝她的邀請，讓我不用獨個兒的過感恩節，好一個值得感謝的感恩節。

What the hell am I doing now?

有一個星期的Thanksgiving break，應該要好好利用。假期過了一半，卻好像甚麼都沒做過！這幾天，不停check Facebook、不停睇Youtube、不停聽903、不停地想著．．．想著．．．想著以往所發生的。到底日子該怎麼過？怎樣才算值得？怎樣才算有意義？

得到了一個很難得的機會，想好好把握，卻好像有心無力，不知從何入手，不想空手而回。

想好好地重生，過新生活，想大踏步往前走，卻發現自己在原地踏步，仍然抱著以往的包伏不放。

知道自己性格上的缺點，想一點一點的糾正過來，卻打破不了自己的框框。

明明知道甚麼該做，甚麼不該做，是沒有能力？是懶惰？還是沒有勇氣？

Home alone day 4 + 5

miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... miss u ... stop!

Home alone day 3

又下兩了。

溫書、聽陳奕迅、做exercise、整理筆記．．．一個人自閉了幾天，好想聽收音機、好想聽人講廣東話、好想聽903。到美國之後，一直都避聽903，一來我覺得，要聽！就聽美國channel，學英文嘛！二來我知道， 聽903的話，一定會聽到關於你的一點點。不想再讓自己的情緒因為你而起伏。

今日再聽903，很親切，就像返回自己在香港的房間，邊聽903邊做自己的事，感覺很好。與此同時，當然避不了要想避的，世上甚可能有這麼純粹的好，仍然不可能沒反應，真要學懂與“他”共存嗎？

Home alone day 2

8:xxam woke up, but still very tired and sleepy. Ooo, M-visit ... that's why!

The institute is really cold, cos I'm the only person in it, I don't want to waste the energy, so I stopped to use the heat system for the whole house, I used a portable heater in my room instead. So my room is the only warm place in the institute! ...when I'm home alone.

My nose don't feel good, cos the air is too dry, maybe it is because of the "dry-hot wind" from the portable heater, so I use the electric tea pot to boil water in my room, I need the steam to moist the air.

I feel so weak suffer from M, don't wanna do anything! OK, no exercise today! Rest!

Started to study the info of road sign exam, wow... 46 pages!

The kitchen is so cold, don't wanna stay there, lucky that I cooked soy sauce chicken wings last night, so I don't need to stay in the kitchen for a long time, just need to reheat it with rice. O soy sauce chicken wings... yummy!

I spent about an hour to teach Cantonese to Jennie through Skype, which is for a drama of a video, and I recorded the lines for her in garage band, so she can practice by herself later, I spoke twice in each script, once in normal speed, once in slow speed. Haha It sounds stupid to speak Cantonese very clear and slow, but it was fun experience.

There are a lot of friends episodes in youtube, though they are not in order by seasons, it still good to see it randomly, so funny!

Hey Flora, Happy Birthday!!

Home alone day 1

今日開始，我會是唯一一個在宿舍的人，因為下星期是Thanksgiving，所有同學仔都趕回家做節。其實同學仔Diana有邀請過我跟她回家過節，不過她是乘飛機前往，我可負擔不了機票的費用，只好留在Roanoke。

雖然整整九天獨留宿舍，但已經安排好一切。由於天寒地凍，所以決定足不出戶，一早買定了吃的，所以一定不會餓！從圖書館借來一堆書作research，很想把它們看完，！又從網上download了考駕駛執照的筆試課程，誓要在假期內把它完成！學英文、睇日劇、整理筆記、work movement．．．要完成的事有一大堆，只怕一個Thanksgiving的假期不夠用。

Chinese Odyssey 2002

第一次看“天下無雙”，是從德國返香港的飛機上看的，結果第一次便一連看了兩三次，一來十分喜歡，二來飛機上也沒有其他合心水的頻道！那是二零零二年的事了。之後幾年，偶然會在電視上看到重播，每次我都會看到結尾為止，於是又看多了幾次。今天，因為做research的關係，我又在youtube將整套電影從頭到尾看了一次。仍是那麼喜歡，而且百看不厭。我愛看電影中那認真的無聊、我愛看電影中對愛情的認真。每次看都會又喊又笑，每次看都有新發現。

Fish, Happy Birthday!

Mama Fish, congratulations for you and your new born BB~

Happy belated birthday dinner~

由於上星期大家都很忙，不過都唱了生日歌為我慶祝，還預告在今晚為我補祝。同學仔問我想吃甚麼，想也不用想，當然是Wasabi。

Wasabi是在downtown的日本餐廳，賣的主要是sushi同sashimi，價錢比平常在香港光顧的貴一點，幸好質素也是好一點。最愛這裡的Chirashi Sushi，即是魚生飯，不過頗貴，USD$16.35一份，很奢侈！但偶然吃一次也是可以下的。

今年沒有生日蛋糕，但有生日炸雪糕，也不錯吧！最緊要是可以吹蠟燭，許個願！

謝謝同學仔的安排，讓我過了一個很滿足的晚上啊！